I want to give you some encouragement. You may not need it now, but keep this in the back of your mind for when you’re getting frustrated or feel like giving up.
I have had those days when I feel like I wasn’t meant to be the mother my daughter needs. I felt like giving up. I know, it sounds terrible. Even on my “best” worst day, it has been a struggle to get to bedtime. If you’ve been there too, keep chugging through.
There are days I wake up and think “Yup! This is going to be a great day!” But when you see an already cranky child, a messy kitchen, a dog who just won’t leave you alone, and a boatload of work you just didn’t have the chance to get to yesterday, it becomes difficult to see why you even crawled out of that warm, comfy bed. Especially when that happens first thing in the morning. But here is my corny line for the day:
It will be worth it tomorrow.
Okay, okay, corny as always. But it’s the truth. Getting through one day at a time is sometimes the best we can do. Most people will tell you that living it one day at a time is not beneficial.
“You have to look to the future.”
“Have you decided how _______ is going to be in the next _________ years?”
“Living in the present won’t help one bit. You will not be prepared for what is coming next if you don’t plan ahead.”
Have you heard something like that at some point in your life? I know I have. In a way, they are all correct. Being able to plan ahead is a necessity for some and a luxury for others.
No one knows what it’s like to be a mother, or a parent in general, until you become one. This goes for mothers, fathers, or any appointed guardians. Becoming frustrated because of something your child did, or didn’t do for that matter, has no comparison. At least for me. I feel like, this is my creation. She came from me. I have done something wrong for her to act this way. This is what gets me every time. I feel as though I should have taught her better manners, or showed her an easier way to do something, or even just explained that it is something she isn’t quite capable of yet and still needs my help in doing. The last one is a killer. It might not even be because of your child. It could be any number of events that just send your day in a spiral of chaos and unhappiness.
I go through the day thinking I did something to cause it all. Then bedtime arrives, we read a book, and she goes to sleep. The next morning is different. We wake up refreshed, ready for a new day. I obviously did the dishes yesterday (hahahaha that was a good laugh) and the dog seems a bit more calm. That was yesterday, this is today. And so begins another day.
This is what I meant when I said “It will be worth it tomorrow”. It’s a brand new day and there is a clean slate. This is the time to learn from yesterday. We are always learning from the past. The future means nothing if there isn’t something to show for it. Every day is an experience worth having, whether it be something good or one we would rather not write home to our parents about. Knowing that you made it one more day is half the battle. Living for tomorrow is a good chunk of it as well.
V is sitting on the couch next to me as I am typing this. She is my constant reminder to keep pushing for tomorrow. As her mother I need to have that strength to keep going, to wake up the next morning, look her in the eyes, and tell her how much I love her. She keeps me looking forward, especially on those bad days. Sometimes living one day at a time is all we can afford.
I am not always as articulate with my words as I wish to be, but I hope this gave you some encouragement to keep moving.
P.S. – I am more than fortunate to have an amazing husband. He is my stability through it all. But for all the single mothers (and parents/guardians in general), understand this- You are your own strength for today. You are stronger than you can imagine. Raising children as a single parent is a tough situation. I come from a divorced household. Keep your chin up. All you do today will be worth it tomorrow and for days, months, and years to come.
P.P.S – It would be kinda cool to see this hashtag used to give other mommies encouragement, tips, praise, help, etc. through a sort of informal letter on social media. It could be as short as one sentence on Twitter or a novel in a blog post.
Until next time…